Game: Genital Jousting
Platform: PC (Steam)
Developer: Free Lives
When I first received Genital Jousting to review, I hadn’t heard of it.
I assumed that it was a party game in the vein of Stick Fight, Sumotori and games of that ilk.
After watching the trailer, I could see that a heavy focus would be on the newly-implemented story mode. A story seemingly about a willy trying to ‘get his end away’, so I thought it would be hastily thrown together as a sort of jokey mini-game amuse-bouche in preparation for the inevitable online main course (not unlike COD).
What actually happened was that I was treated to my first surprise personal delight of 2018.
Genital Jousting delivers…in inches.
Let’s get it out of the way.
You control a wobbler.
A magnificently animated wobbler that is rubbery, fun to control and surrounded by great graphics, superb physics and jovial music… but a wobbler nonetheless.
You control a wobbler.
A magnificently animated wobbler that is rubbery, fun to control and surrounded by great graphics, superb physics and jovial music… but a wobbler nonetheless.
The game revels in how surreal and blatant the setup is which is absolutely fine because the gameplay is so solid and enjoyable that it backs it all up.
The controls are quite straightforward, the D-pad or left analogue stick moves you around and if you press ‘A’, the point of control is switched between the tip or the balls (this genuinely makes a difference when it comes to movement and I have to say is really well balanced…and funny)
There are several multiplayer modes for up to eight players that involve picking flowers, going on a date, walking a dog etc. that all take the form of mini-games and are fun with friends around but for me weren’t the main draw of the game, everything paled in comparison to the story, for me.
The story in the single-player mode is that you control a tinkler called John who just wants to find love…or rather…someone to bonk.
The trailer will tell you all you need to know in this regard as the best part of the story is letting it expose itself to you.
It’s inherently funny to try to desperately control a sentient dick in a world populated by other dicks(of both genders) as he tries to find a date for his school reunion.
The narrator is a well-spoken English woman who voices the narrative and John’s inner thoughts so absolutely perfectly and frankly that it truly brings the story to life as John bumbles his way through his days.
I really don’t want to say too much about the story but I will say that what starts as a series of cheap knob gags (absolutely fine) slowly morphs into a commentary on such topics as uber-masculinity, the objectification of females, solipsism, capitalism and even the embellishment and unreliability of memories.
The genius in Genital Jousting is that it does this on the shush, I was playing the game with my girlfriend and we both laughed at some of the preposterous situations that we got John into (trying to force a flaccid penis through a turnstile or trying to pick up a cactus to purchase…ouch) but after a while it dawned on me that the tone of the game was changing and it genuinely had valid things to say about the human condition.
Summary
I can imagine that some people will dismiss Genital Jousting because of its setup and presentation but those people are missing out on a game that has more to say than a lot of other art games out there and does so with humour and a sense of fun that makes the (surprisingly lengthy) story mode a hilarious and thoughtful ride.
I’d also like to point out that Free Lives have made one of my favourite co-op games of the last five years, Bro Force. Please, please let there be a Bro Force 2, my multiplayer nights haven’t been the same since we completed the original!
Right, I’m off to try and get this game into the UK Sex Education syllabus.
❄️ RATING: ICE COOL ❄️
Ratings Explained
ICE COOL (Great Game Recommended)
MELTING (Recommended with reservations, one to consider if you are a fan of the genre)
MELTED (Not A Recommended Purchase)
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